Breaking up is never easy for anyone, and we all deserve some time post-breakup to mope around and feel sad, but holding on to this pattern for too long can be dangerous. You may start to exhibit feelings of depression, such as a lack of motivation and no desire to see friends or family outside of the house, and your sense of confidence and self-esteem may start to slip. Don’t worry! This is a totally normal reaction that can happen to anyone.
The important thing is to implement good habits and learn to cope with the breakup rather than let it consume you. Sometimes this might mean splurging on a little gift for yourself—something like new gold chains—but it also means you should be working on your mental health through methods like journaling and talking openly. Here’s our advice for men on how to proceed post-breakup and come out feeling better than ever.
Spend Time in Your Own Space
If you were living with your significant other prior to the breakup, the hardest part of adjusting to single life can be living in your own space. Whether you moved out of the house or the other person did, things feel different. Maybe you’ve moved into a new place that feels foreign and lonely. Or maybe the absence of the other person in the home you once shared is difficult to overcome.
It’s okay. These feelings are normal and will pass. Everything is an adjustment. Give yourself time to make space your own: Fill the cabinets with things you love; put your own decorations up; create an area of the house just for you to read or play video games. Once you learn to be comfortable alone in your own space, you’ll be able to start moving on.
Talk with Friends and Family
Sharing your thoughts with the people in your life who are important to you is one of the best ways to mentally and emotionally recover from a breakup. Some men have trouble opening up to others emotionally, but it is absolutely imperative to work through your feelings and come out of your experience as a better person.
For future relationships, you want to have a solid understanding of your own feelings and how to express them in order to find a loving and fulfilling relationship. Talking through emotions helps you come to a better understanding and unleash some of the built-up emotional pain.
If you’re not totally comfortable sharing your feelings with other men in your life right away, try talking to your mom or other important females in your life. They may be able to offer a feminine perspective on the situation, encouraging you to address your feelings and work on your self-confidence.
Avoid Drinking Too Much
Turning to substances like alcohol during a tough time is a common reaction, but it’s not always the healthiest way to cope. If you’ve spent a lot of time in the house alone sulking, it might be in your best interest to get yourself looking fresh, throw on some iced-out gold chains, and hit the club with your boys for a night—but make this an occasional outing.
Avoid drinking at home by yourself, and make specific plans for nights that you do want to be social and enjoy a few drinks. Alcohol is a depressant and can heighten symptoms of depression when abused too often. Also, drinking too much right after a breakup is the quickest way to send an embarrassing text to your ex, and no one wants that.
Treat Yourself to Something Special
Retail therapy is definitely not the best or most effective way to heal yourself post-breakup … but it can help. You can’t expect that purchasing materialistic items will make the sadness go away. We all know true happiness can’t be bought. But, treating yourself to something special will boost your mood and give you something to be excited about.
Research an item you’ve been wanting, perhaps a new set of gold chains or a video gaming system, and then take the leap. You can even wrap it up and give it to yourself if you want it to feel like a real gift. Go ahead! You deserve it.
Set a Schedule for Yourself
Humans are creatures of habits. We love a good routine because it sets expectations and helps us anticipate what’s coming next. After a breakup, we may feel as though our entire world has been flipped upside down, which is part of the reason that, post-breakup, setting a routine is a great idea. It will give you a schedule to focus on and help to get you out of the house and be productive.
Your schedule can include a time to exercise, keep in touch with friends, finish some work, and clean the house. These are all pretty routine tasks that we do, but creating a schedule for them can motivate you even when you’re not feeling up to it.
Leave Your Breakup in the Past
You have the power to come out of your breakup stronger—mentally and physically—than ever. We know how hard it can be to pull yourself out of funk once you’ve had your heartbroken, but those feelings don’t last forever.
Learn how to open up to your friends, family, and self through journaling, and then focus on your self-care. Put that work in and hit the gym to keep yourself healthy and happy. Get yourself on a regular schedule that keeps you productive, focused, and distracted. Taking steps like this will improve your self-confidence and have you ready to find the right significant other for you.
Oh, and if you’re thinking of doing a little retail therapy, go ahead and cop yourself a new gold chain or Rolex watch. Splurging on yourself once in a while never hurt anybody.